Finding Yourself vs. Creating Yourself

Recently I read a quote that just jumped out, grabbed me and shook me up.



“Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.”

I fell madly, passionately in love with that sentiment. It propelled me further into my own physical and spiritual transformation. I just kept repeating that mantra in my head. During workouts. While teaching classes. Driving the kid around. All I could think was, “Yeah buddy, I’m CREATING myself!”


Then I went a bit deeper. Wondering why nine simple words could move me so much. It hit me. There really isn’t much to find. THIS is why I have struggled in the past with so-called self help programs or movements that focus on “finding” oneself.


The notion that there isn’t much to find is okay by me. You see, I grew up in a very abusive household with addict/user overlord parents whom I have learned to pray for and love. Now this part of the story I’ve dealt with. Like Maya Angelou once said, “So you had a bad childhood. It’s over” However, it made me realize what an effort it was in trying to find myself.


Looking at my girls, I see how formative these years are. I foster their interests, rejoice with them in their victories and help them through tough times. I realized that THESE are the years when you become that person you are supposed to “find” later in life when things get off track. In my own life I spent my childhood hiding out under the radar. Truly. Not wanting to bring any attention. Not pursuing interests. Just waiting it out until I was old enough to leave.


Then working to make my way through college. They just plain working. Having kids. Then you just wake up one day, read a great book review on Amazon and decide to go about “finding” yourself. This is where I fell down. Here is where the futile digging began. Nothing. Or I’d think I’d gotten somewhere only to wonder what the heck I was doing. Who IS this person?


Self transformation is truly that. The notion that we can become better. Become the people we want to be and that is not dependent upon our past. What only matters is now and the work we do now. Daily creative progress. Reaching out to others and enjoying the dynamic of human contact…..like this blog where I'm trying to create virtual contact that goes straight to the heart.


Now how cool is THAT?

(Me not that long ago)

(Me after I stopped trying to "find" myself - mid creative phase, lol)

I am grateful you took the time to read this. Much love. Steph.